February 9, 2011

Static

I've been sitting here for 3 years (and several days). Sitting in a same room, same desk, same chair. With a same computer, same keyboard, same mouse. With a same window, same view, and same wall i faced for every 5 days in a week. There is only one thing different. The people. They're not the same people whom i be with at my first day being here - January 2008. And (unfortunately) that's the thing which creates sorrow for me.

I've been sitting here, in every working days and sometimes in my weekend. I've been watching people come and go. At the first time i came here - to this 6mx4.5m-room with 5 desk available, it was 4 people. Me in one corner, my-beautiful-boss in the other corner and another boss beside her, and my co-worker across my desk. 2 ladies and 2 guys. We still left one desk unattended.

Time goes by... my beautiful boss transfer out. She's been here for almost 5 or 6 years. She kept yelling to her boss to transfer her out. As an International Mobile, she supposed to transfer out every 2 years sitting in one base. So no wonder she kept pushing the boss regarding her transfer. her wish came true. She moved. Transfered out to somewhere in Africa. Left 3 of us. 2 desk was unattended.

After several times, someone came to our room. Be part of our team. At that time, we became 4 people again. 2 ladies and 2 guys. And another one came after, the Algerian lady. She become my boss, my direct manager. At that time, our room was full. 5 desk with 5 people. 3 ladies and 2 guys. Plus my boss' of my boss who was sitting in different room with us. we became 6. 3 ladies and 3 guys.

Time moved... my Pakistani boss moved out. Transfered out to somewhere in Saudi. And another one came after. A Chinese-Indonesian guy. Our room still fully seated. We stayed with this formation for several times. It was great atmosphere i felt. I worked hard and performed. Got promoted to the higher grade and of course higher salary.

Another year passed me by... my co-worker decided to moved into another position in this company. The higher-salary position. A girl came before he left to replace him. I was struggling at that 'transition' time. My co-worker flew out his mind. His body was with us, but his mind was somewhere out there, already in the new position. While the new girl still adapted hard to getting used into our operation. I was like running thousand miles everyday, messed-up with some stuff, and sometimes out-of-focus. my fingers was on the keyboard, my eyes was starring straight to screen, but my mind was somewhere out there.

In the middle of year 2010, the boss' of my boss transfered out after almost 2 years being here with our team. Left 5 of us. But one of us should be sitting at client office. So it was officially 4 people in our room. 1 desk left unattended. The new big boss came after, but he has his desk outthere, on his private room. Still 4 of us in this room.

Several months passed by... the Chinese-Indonesian guy decided to resign. He got another job. the better one for him. Located in Jakarta - which is his hometown, with a higher salary of course. He left all the ladies in this room. Left 3 of us. Our team was all ladies with one French boss. A lady who was sitting in the client office has transfered also last month. She moved to Jakarta base.

See... how people could be such a dynamic. Come and go, while me sitting still. After 3 years, i felt it so painful being stuck here. Feeling all alone. Struggling with the circumstances which has changing randomly. For some other people, 3 years may not be a long term as they do the dynamic job. Going to field, back to town, go on days-off. Back to the field again, back to town, go on days-off. Some others do their job in a workshop. From this tool, to that tool, with this tool, with that tool. to workshop, to the lab.

Unlike me. Only here, here, and here. Same desk same corner. Even, I'm not allowed to change my desk's position - i did once and my big boss ask me to arrange back my desk to the previous position. which is the same position as right now. So 3 years being here, far from hometown, far from family, for me, it's like a rusty iron. I feel saturated. And demotivated. I need a new circumstances. I need a new place close to my home - in case i get bored, i can go home easily to refreshing.

Just send me back to Jakarta, please...

2 comments:

Ifa jati fallat said...

Percaya ni, Allah punya rencana lain.. trs bdoa aja.. atau pindah jadi ranger merah.hehehehehe

Agni Giani said...

iyah fa, kudu lbh rajin lg berdoa, dan kudu sungguh2 bangeeet ;)